I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize