it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
