I will die if light touches me.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
