The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
