I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
