I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
