Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
someone owes me an orgasm
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
