Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
