the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
