Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
