You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
