Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I enjoy the company of your penis
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
