Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
