I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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