STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
