I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Randomize