Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
