im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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