i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
