You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
