I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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