I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
