found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
