I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
