If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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