I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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