You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
