I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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