so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I came so hard my ears popped.
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