Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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