i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
