i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
