I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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