and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
