I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
