i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
