people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
