IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
