All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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