I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
