her vagine was all disorganized.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
