Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
