ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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