Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
