What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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