once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
