We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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