I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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