I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize