Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
