it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
