that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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