You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
