I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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