i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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