i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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