Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
