I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Porn is love you can see.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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