come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
