Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Randomize
