Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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