and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
