remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
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