He is an equal opportunity slut.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
