i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
